Pride

Today's word is Pride.

Not pride in the, "I'm so awesome," boastful kind of way, but rather, pride as in the "I did something that was overcoming an obstacle and I'm so proud I did it" way.

T2's been dancing the hula with a group for almost a year now.  She's a natural.  Man, I can't believe how she can move her hips.  I am filled with pride every time I watch her dance.  When she started, I would sit during the class and bring a book to read while it was going on, but I could never focus on my reading. I found myself mesmerized by the women in the group.  The dance looked so fun, and the music was infectious.

In November, I started dancing with my daughter.  I asked her first, if she thought it would be fun to have me in the group.  That we could do the dances together, practicing in the evenings.  She was thrilled by this concept.  Better grab onto this now, I thought.  She's going to be a teenager soon enough, and she would be mortified if I wanted to dance with her.  Now or never.  I thought, I've been watching for months; I can do this.  No way, y'all.  It's way harder than it looks.  It took me a while to get the steps.  The hands, hips, and feet all do different things.  While I'm not very good at it, I have a great time doing it.  It makes me feel so alive to move my body like that, a body whose image I've struggled with all my life.  I'm not the dancer type, you see.  Big and stocky, not long and lean like my daughter.  But hula--hula I can do.

And today was the big test of my confidence.  I danced with the group today for the first time in front of an audience.  Once the music started, I hit my stride.  I found myself beaming both inside and out. I was so proud of myself for going for something that I don't look perfect doing, but about which I feel very passionate. 

In the first clip, T2's second from the right.  In the second clip, I'm the tall, stocky one, next to the man in the back, and T2's the little girl on the right.  I'm thinking that this experience, for however long it lasts until one of us loses interest (T2?), is making a life long memory for T2 and I to share. 





I am proud.