My sister and brother-in-law are musicians. Between the two of them, they have a dozen albums, play in multiple bands, and run a recording studio. Ever since the twins were toddlers, they've been trying to get them in the studio to record a song. Trouble is, they really didn't want toddlers in there with all that equipment, fragile guitars and lots of other "attractive nuisances" (a real legal term, according to DG).
Now the kids are definitely old enough, at 8, to try music. Last weekend when we were there, this is what they came up with:
I know, the song is arguably little kid like, but come on! They performed all the instruments (except for rhythm guitar and bass, masterfully recorded by Uncle D). It was so fun watching T1 go through the song, concentrating on his bass drum, making sure that he hit it hard enough, but not too hard. His eyes focused on my hand waving down each time he was to hit; he held his mouth in a little, intense smirk, keeping his brain in only one place.
T2 was the consummate lead singer. When we listened to the playback, she kept saying, "I just want to make sure it sounds perfect." They did 2 live takes and a couple of over-dubs to put in the lead guitar, snare drum, and background vocals. What an amazing, creative experience for them.
My brother-in-law is thinking of offering this kind of workshop for kids in the Bay Area. I say, heck yeah. Get those kids in the studio. It's not music class like piano or violin, clarinet or flute, but it's having a vision, creating the components of that vision, and watching it all come together in a finished piece in a few hours. And it's FUN. Kids should be having fun. And they don't have to be perfect at it to create something beautiful and memorable for themselves.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Supercharged Family Road Trip
Oh, the family road trip. I remember it oh so fondly wearily from my own childhood. Mom packed weeks of well-thought out games, books, stories and activities so that we wouldn't lose our minds staring out the window at miles and miles of flat land and a few scattered cows. Despite all those little extras, things meant to stimulate and occupy a kid for hours, I hated the road trip. I always got car sick, couldn't really read, was bored out of my mind, and eventually ended up goofing around so wildly with my siblings that Mom and Dad would end up with a one-arm-over-the-seat cry of, "If I have to come back there...."
Well things are different now. Welcome to the 21st Century road trip ala Grateful Twin Mom. Here's how we do it these days. Wired in. That's right; you heard me. Plugged in, dialed in, each with his or her own little screen or headphones. Not talking to each other--not commenting on scenery--not yelling, crying, or complaining. T1 and T2 got iPads (for their birthday/Hanukkah/Christmas for-the-rest-of-their-lives) from an extraordinarily benevolent aunt and uncle. Whole music libraries, math games, Angry Birds (enough said), 5 movies, and 3 chapter books (including A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh) provide enough entertainment for weeks, let alone a few hours up I-5 in one super cool laptop device. DG and I listen to audiobooks on iPods and occasionally, DG will blast E Street Radio on the satellite radio (loves him some Bruce Springsteen). But when we're plugged in, it's silent in the car.
Now I know the experts feel that screen time is detrimental for kids (twins are 8 now), especially young ones, and that little brains are marred permanently by too much exposure to video images (whether educational or not). I know that confined spaces are supposed to provide great, built-in opportunities for interacting--commiseration for the shared cramped experience and all, but somehow, this seems better to me. No one asks me, "Are we there yet?" or "Can we stop? I'm thirsty." A well-stocked snack bag, bottles of water, and one or two bathroom breaks and we all arrive at our destination happy, still in love with each other and excited to be where we are instead of weary from the trip.
So I ask you, are a few extra hours of screen time too high a price to pay for such satisfaction on arrival? Will there be increased melt downs because of the change in brain chemistry from too many hours with an electronic device? Are there microwaves and radiation seeping their way into my children's bloodstreams because of extra exposure? I worry about all of this. But part of being a parent is letting go of the fear that makes us second guess EVERYTHING and just being. The supercharged, plugged in road trip is just another way that we are just living.
And while I wonder how all this will affect my children as they grow, I'm guessing when they're grown and look back on the family road trip, they won't be lamenting Mom's angry voice telling them to be quiet and settle down. That's what I'm wishing.
Okay, gotta go charge all my electronic toys. We're on the road in 2 hours....
Well things are different now. Welcome to the 21st Century road trip ala Grateful Twin Mom. Here's how we do it these days. Wired in. That's right; you heard me. Plugged in, dialed in, each with his or her own little screen or headphones. Not talking to each other--not commenting on scenery--not yelling, crying, or complaining. T1 and T2 got iPads (for their birthday/Hanukkah/Christmas for-the-rest-of-their-lives) from an extraordinarily benevolent aunt and uncle. Whole music libraries, math games, Angry Birds (enough said), 5 movies, and 3 chapter books (including A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh) provide enough entertainment for weeks, let alone a few hours up I-5 in one super cool laptop device. DG and I listen to audiobooks on iPods and occasionally, DG will blast E Street Radio on the satellite radio (loves him some Bruce Springsteen). But when we're plugged in, it's silent in the car.
Now I know the experts feel that screen time is detrimental for kids (twins are 8 now), especially young ones, and that little brains are marred permanently by too much exposure to video images (whether educational or not). I know that confined spaces are supposed to provide great, built-in opportunities for interacting--commiseration for the shared cramped experience and all, but somehow, this seems better to me. No one asks me, "Are we there yet?" or "Can we stop? I'm thirsty." A well-stocked snack bag, bottles of water, and one or two bathroom breaks and we all arrive at our destination happy, still in love with each other and excited to be where we are instead of weary from the trip.
So I ask you, are a few extra hours of screen time too high a price to pay for such satisfaction on arrival? Will there be increased melt downs because of the change in brain chemistry from too many hours with an electronic device? Are there microwaves and radiation seeping their way into my children's bloodstreams because of extra exposure? I worry about all of this. But part of being a parent is letting go of the fear that makes us second guess EVERYTHING and just being. The supercharged, plugged in road trip is just another way that we are just living.
And while I wonder how all this will affect my children as they grow, I'm guessing when they're grown and look back on the family road trip, they won't be lamenting Mom's angry voice telling them to be quiet and settle down. That's what I'm wishing.
Okay, gotta go charge all my electronic toys. We're on the road in 2 hours....
Thursday, January 6, 2011
There's Something About That January Freshness....
Last January, I sat down with 2 friends, and made a list of goals for 2010. The categories on the form were:
Spiritual Unfoldment
Well Being
Loving Relationships
Abundant Expression (this means $$, I think)
Creative Expression
Other (for me, this is mostly "work", but it's also about integrity)
This list, withinsightful hopeful predictions for my behavior throughout the year, did drive the way I lived my life a little. I felt like there was some structure to what I was supposed to be doing, and that I had a reference if I found myself, like I often do in times of extreme overwhelm or self-doubt, unfulfilled, stagnant, or anxious. And while I did not accomplish everything on the list, I did go back and look at this list periodically throughout the year and try to move forward in each of my little goals.
Now, it's a whole fresh, new year. I love the new beginnings of it--my willingness to start over. January seems like the perfect time to do that. My kids went back to school this week, and I don't need to be back on campus to teach until next Monday, so this is my week to do those projections, to finish up those tasks begun last year whose incompletion continually fill me with a pending sense of failure. And, I'm going to think about what I can do differently this year to make my life more balanced and calm.
So, here goes:
Spiritual Unfoldment:
Last year I vowed to be less concerned about what people thought of me and more caring and useful to others is a selfless way, not just to be noticed for my accomplishments. I do tend to have such an ego. I think I want to have the neatest house, the most well-behaved and academically accomplished children, the most romantic relationship, and the most interesting creative endeavors, or at least my mind wants people to think I do. These are really just tricks my mind plays on me to trip me up in a real world. They're not entirely possible or desireable.
Last year's goal was meant to make a dent in that backwards, ingrained thinking. I am turning more to the universe, God, spiritual guiding light, whatever you want to call it, to counter the self-grandiose instincts that my mind still wants to lean toward. This year, I want to continue that same practice. It really does feel good.
Well Being:
Last year's goals in this category were all about eating and exercise. I did get a pretty good handle on the eating last year, and the exercise is going pretty well too. It's just something that I do everyday, not something I need to start again every month, year, Monday. This is a huge relief, by the way. I've struggled with weight and body image for years, and to have it be something that occurs in my life more effortlessly is a huge blessing. I do have to work on everything else in my life that makes me anxious, because if I don't, my tendency is to isolate and shut down, and that means no exercise and excess food--feels yucky, and I will continue to make this a life-long goal.
Loving Relationships:
This is where I need the most work. I have a significant goal for this year in terms of my relationships with each of my children that I wanted to work on last year, but dismally failed. I want to spend planned, individual one-on-one time with each child during which they get my undivided attention. There always seems to be something else that pulls me away from them--like reading (which I love and will steal away to do any time I can), writing, grading papers (and with online classes, this happens in front of the computer screen--definitely not undivided attention to kids), and all the distracting social networking with Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. Not to mention that they are both completely obsessed with Pokemon right now, and I really don't want to hear about how to get past this or that level on the video game.
I do definitely spend time with the kids, but it's always with them together and that means bickering over who's going to pick what activity, song on the radio, snack-food item, you name it. Constant battle. So this year, one-on-one time. Check back on this one....
Also, on last year's goals list, I said that I would say one positive parenting observation to DG everyday. I didn't do this either. But it's still a good goal, one that I can realistically say that if I follow through on it, our family life will be infinitely better. I know that complementing the kids on what they're doing right works wonders to get them act appropriately, whereas nagging has the complete opposite effect. I'm learning that my nagging pattern with DG is having the exact same effect. He deserves better. He's a great dad, and I need to let him know.
Abundant Expression:
I think this is really a buzz phrase for bringing in more in your life. Last year, this was about money. Not so much bringing in more, but better managing what we've got. Budgets are always elusive for me, but without one, or at least some semblance of knowledge of what is coming in and what is going out, I can end up buying things I don't need, thereby creating more chaos in my life.
This year, I'm organizing every cabinet, closet and drawer in the house. This means I'll have an inventory of what we have and I won't end up buying 3 different sets of Easter hand towels because I can't find the original set I bought. This relates to bringing in more by actually getting by with less. More then becomes, instead of material things, order, peace, and time to enjoy my surroundings instead of spinning in the clutter.
Creative Expression:
So much belongs in this category: writing, scrapbooking, knitting, sewing, photography, dancing. It's hard to fit in all of these creative hobbies, but this year, I intend to find time for them all, even if it's just a little time on each one. I think it's important to do something creative every day, and while I can't obviously do all of these things in each day, I can knit one row in the scarf for T1, and I can take pictures of the pets with different exposures to learn more about the camera. I don't need to be an expert in any of these activities, but I do want to think, at the end of the day, "I created something today," and that will be enough.
Other (called work goals above):
So really anything can go here. Work wise, I plan to slow down, focus, and cross off 3 things from my project to-do list every day. I love my job, and sometimes it can feel overwhelming. Three things a day is doable, workable.
Other goals for 2011? Keep commitments, be kinder to others (especially my kids), practice patience.
I don't think these goals are necessarily lofty or unobtainable, and I don't even think they're the kinds of resolutions that I'll look back at next year and say, "Wow! I really didn't do any of this." These are ongoing ways of living that can enhance my day to day life and make each day have a little more purpose. And I'm ready to take on 2011 with purpose.
Spiritual Unfoldment
Well Being
Loving Relationships
Abundant Expression (this means $$, I think)
Creative Expression
Other (for me, this is mostly "work", but it's also about integrity)
This list, with
Now, it's a whole fresh, new year. I love the new beginnings of it--my willingness to start over. January seems like the perfect time to do that. My kids went back to school this week, and I don't need to be back on campus to teach until next Monday, so this is my week to do those projections, to finish up those tasks begun last year whose incompletion continually fill me with a pending sense of failure. And, I'm going to think about what I can do differently this year to make my life more balanced and calm.
So, here goes:
Spiritual Unfoldment:
Last year I vowed to be less concerned about what people thought of me and more caring and useful to others is a selfless way, not just to be noticed for my accomplishments. I do tend to have such an ego. I think I want to have the neatest house, the most well-behaved and academically accomplished children, the most romantic relationship, and the most interesting creative endeavors, or at least my mind wants people to think I do. These are really just tricks my mind plays on me to trip me up in a real world. They're not entirely possible or desireable.
Last year's goal was meant to make a dent in that backwards, ingrained thinking. I am turning more to the universe, God, spiritual guiding light, whatever you want to call it, to counter the self-grandiose instincts that my mind still wants to lean toward. This year, I want to continue that same practice. It really does feel good.
Well Being:
Last year's goals in this category were all about eating and exercise. I did get a pretty good handle on the eating last year, and the exercise is going pretty well too. It's just something that I do everyday, not something I need to start again every month, year, Monday. This is a huge relief, by the way. I've struggled with weight and body image for years, and to have it be something that occurs in my life more effortlessly is a huge blessing. I do have to work on everything else in my life that makes me anxious, because if I don't, my tendency is to isolate and shut down, and that means no exercise and excess food--feels yucky, and I will continue to make this a life-long goal.
Loving Relationships:
This is where I need the most work. I have a significant goal for this year in terms of my relationships with each of my children that I wanted to work on last year, but dismally failed. I want to spend planned, individual one-on-one time with each child during which they get my undivided attention. There always seems to be something else that pulls me away from them--like reading (which I love and will steal away to do any time I can), writing, grading papers (and with online classes, this happens in front of the computer screen--definitely not undivided attention to kids), and all the distracting social networking with Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. Not to mention that they are both completely obsessed with Pokemon right now, and I really don't want to hear about how to get past this or that level on the video game.
I do definitely spend time with the kids, but it's always with them together and that means bickering over who's going to pick what activity, song on the radio, snack-food item, you name it. Constant battle. So this year, one-on-one time. Check back on this one....
Also, on last year's goals list, I said that I would say one positive parenting observation to DG everyday. I didn't do this either. But it's still a good goal, one that I can realistically say that if I follow through on it, our family life will be infinitely better. I know that complementing the kids on what they're doing right works wonders to get them act appropriately, whereas nagging has the complete opposite effect. I'm learning that my nagging pattern with DG is having the exact same effect. He deserves better. He's a great dad, and I need to let him know.
Abundant Expression:
I think this is really a buzz phrase for bringing in more in your life. Last year, this was about money. Not so much bringing in more, but better managing what we've got. Budgets are always elusive for me, but without one, or at least some semblance of knowledge of what is coming in and what is going out, I can end up buying things I don't need, thereby creating more chaos in my life.
This year, I'm organizing every cabinet, closet and drawer in the house. This means I'll have an inventory of what we have and I won't end up buying 3 different sets of Easter hand towels because I can't find the original set I bought. This relates to bringing in more by actually getting by with less. More then becomes, instead of material things, order, peace, and time to enjoy my surroundings instead of spinning in the clutter.
Creative Expression:
So much belongs in this category: writing, scrapbooking, knitting, sewing, photography, dancing. It's hard to fit in all of these creative hobbies, but this year, I intend to find time for them all, even if it's just a little time on each one. I think it's important to do something creative every day, and while I can't obviously do all of these things in each day, I can knit one row in the scarf for T1, and I can take pictures of the pets with different exposures to learn more about the camera. I don't need to be an expert in any of these activities, but I do want to think, at the end of the day, "I created something today," and that will be enough.
Other (called work goals above):
So really anything can go here. Work wise, I plan to slow down, focus, and cross off 3 things from my project to-do list every day. I love my job, and sometimes it can feel overwhelming. Three things a day is doable, workable.
Other goals for 2011? Keep commitments, be kinder to others (especially my kids), practice patience.
I don't think these goals are necessarily lofty or unobtainable, and I don't even think they're the kinds of resolutions that I'll look back at next year and say, "Wow! I really didn't do any of this." These are ongoing ways of living that can enhance my day to day life and make each day have a little more purpose. And I'm ready to take on 2011 with purpose.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Christmas w/o the family
I've mentioned how much I miss my family who are scattered up and down the west coast with me being the only one in Los Angeles. And at Christmas, this used to be a major travel time for us with trips to visit my sister in Oakland, DG's family also in the Bay Area, and my mom and brother in Seattle. In recent years, however, we've decided that we want our kids to have their own Christmas traditions and we now stay home. The kids wake up in their own beds, go out to their own living room, and greet the wonder that Santa has left them.
But the best part of all? We don't entertain anyone on Christmas day. No one comes over for dinner, we don't have to go anywhere to be with relatives, we don't even need to have a fancy dinner in the dining room with the china. We can stay in our pajamas all day and enjoy not having to do anything. That's what we did this year. We ate Chinese food at the counter for lunch. I made Prime Rib for just the 4 of us (it only had one bone!). We sat on the couch and watched A Christmas Story and drank hot chocolate in front of the tree.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE spending time with family and friends. We had an amazing time with friends on Christmas Eve with a wonderful dinner and singing Christmas carols around their living room piano.
I have a tripped planned to visit my sister in mid-January, and the whole family will trek to Seattle for my mom's 78th birthday in April.
But this Christmas--gloriously alone, and I don't regret it.
So the Holiday wrap up goes like this:
Overall, our holiday break has been wonderful. Now on to New Year's resolutions. I am definitely going to do things differently in 2011. How about you?
But the best part of all? We don't entertain anyone on Christmas day. No one comes over for dinner, we don't have to go anywhere to be with relatives, we don't even need to have a fancy dinner in the dining room with the china. We can stay in our pajamas all day and enjoy not having to do anything. That's what we did this year. We ate Chinese food at the counter for lunch. I made Prime Rib for just the 4 of us (it only had one bone!). We sat on the couch and watched A Christmas Story and drank hot chocolate in front of the tree.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE spending time with family and friends. We had an amazing time with friends on Christmas Eve with a wonderful dinner and singing Christmas carols around their living room piano.
I have a tripped planned to visit my sister in mid-January, and the whole family will trek to Seattle for my mom's 78th birthday in April.
But this Christmas--gloriously alone, and I don't regret it.
So the Holiday wrap up goes like this:
 |
| T1 and T2 standing next to each other in the school program. Miracle! |
 |
| A super rainy night at Disneyland. The rain looks like snow in the camera. |
 |
| Listening to amazing carolers at the Tam 'O Shanter's holiday dinner |
 |
| Christmas morning. I was the only one up FOREVER. Kids didn't get up until after 8! |
 |
| Reading the response letter from Santa. He asked them to be good to each other in the new year and to listen to their parents. hahahaha |
 |
| T2's special trip to the American Girl Store with friends for a fabulous lunch. |
Overall, our holiday break has been wonderful. Now on to New Year's resolutions. I am definitely going to do things differently in 2011. How about you?
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Christmas Memories
Remember when you were little, and there's that one thing from Christmas, or Hanukkah, or whatever winter holiday you celebrate that really stands out in your mind as the most funny, or heartbreaking, or heartwarming? I think everybody has a memory like that. I've got several. Like the year my dad left and my 10-year-old brother put up all the Christmas lights by himself. My mother was so touched--at least I thought she was touched, but it was probably more a mixture of pride in her resourceful son, guilt in her divorce decision leaving us without a "Christmas light hanger," and sadness at her first Christmas as a single parent. Or the year my brother, sister and I stayed up all night--I mean literally all night--waiting for Christmas morning. We piled into my room with blankets and stories; we were all teenagers at the time. We still talk about it. Every holiday season, I call my sister and say, "Hey, remember this song from that album that we listened to every Christmas? Remember the one with the red cover?"
As my own kids are now the age when Christmas memories are being formed, I wonder what they'll remember when they get older. Will in be this year, when Los Angeles was deluged with rain storms of epic proportions that have kept us inside for days? They've moved from watching Pokemon on TV, to playing Pokemon on the DS, to playing Pokemon cards in T1's room. (Seriously, is Pokemon really that compelling?) Honestly, I think they're completely loving this unstructured time just to be kids without all the school, homework, activities, and playdates. Or will it be decorating the tree and uncovering the beauty of ornaments that slip their minds as the months between Christmases pass?
This was the first year that I think they'll remember decorating the tree. I decided to let T1 put on the tree topper. He is told so much that he needs to be careful, keep his hands to himself, play nicely and gently. I thought I'd give him a special task that would usually be bestowed upon a family member with excellent dexterity and calm, two things T1 doesn't really have mastery over yet. My thinking was, let him have something that calls upon his burgeoning maturity and bridges him from little kid to big kid. Maybe I thought too soon.
Yes, the tree topper broke, and then all hell broke loose. I got upset with DG, who was upset because he had a feeling that T1 couldn't do it, and then T1 went crying out of the room and hid because I yelled. Definitely a Christmas memory I'm not proud of, but here it is, for all of you--familly foibles and all. Off to Stat's we went to get another tree topper. And, Christmas memory restored.
Maybe it would have been better if we waited a year for this. Maybe he would have been just that much bigger and could reach the tree top better. Maybe we would pick a tree without a knot sticking out that would allow the topper to slip right over the top. Maybe, who knows. But this is the memory we have. This is the one I'll remember and I'm sure he'll remember and we'll laugh, "Remember that year we broke the tree topper? Hahahahaha"
It reminds me of that scene at the end of A Christmas Story. Ralphie's family Christmas dinner is ruined by an unfortunate incident with some neighborhood dogs and the Christmas ham. They go to a Chinese restaurant and while the waiters are singing Christmas carols, food is brought to their table. The camera zooms in and they're smiling, laughing, and enjoying themselves. The voice over describes the memory and you can see that this is the Christmas memory that they'll remember, not the missed ham. I think of our tree topper the same way. Every year, when I unwrap it, I'll remember the successful adornment and think about how T1 grew up a little that year.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. May the memories you make this year be joyous ones, and if they're not, I hope there's at least some humor.
As my own kids are now the age when Christmas memories are being formed, I wonder what they'll remember when they get older. Will in be this year, when Los Angeles was deluged with rain storms of epic proportions that have kept us inside for days? They've moved from watching Pokemon on TV, to playing Pokemon on the DS, to playing Pokemon cards in T1's room. (Seriously, is Pokemon really that compelling?) Honestly, I think they're completely loving this unstructured time just to be kids without all the school, homework, activities, and playdates. Or will it be decorating the tree and uncovering the beauty of ornaments that slip their minds as the months between Christmases pass?
This was the first year that I think they'll remember decorating the tree. I decided to let T1 put on the tree topper. He is told so much that he needs to be careful, keep his hands to himself, play nicely and gently. I thought I'd give him a special task that would usually be bestowed upon a family member with excellent dexterity and calm, two things T1 doesn't really have mastery over yet. My thinking was, let him have something that calls upon his burgeoning maturity and bridges him from little kid to big kid. Maybe I thought too soon.
Yes, the tree topper broke, and then all hell broke loose. I got upset with DG, who was upset because he had a feeling that T1 couldn't do it, and then T1 went crying out of the room and hid because I yelled. Definitely a Christmas memory I'm not proud of, but here it is, for all of you--familly foibles and all. Off to Stat's we went to get another tree topper. And, Christmas memory restored.
Maybe it would have been better if we waited a year for this. Maybe he would have been just that much bigger and could reach the tree top better. Maybe we would pick a tree without a knot sticking out that would allow the topper to slip right over the top. Maybe, who knows. But this is the memory we have. This is the one I'll remember and I'm sure he'll remember and we'll laugh, "Remember that year we broke the tree topper? Hahahahaha"
It reminds me of that scene at the end of A Christmas Story. Ralphie's family Christmas dinner is ruined by an unfortunate incident with some neighborhood dogs and the Christmas ham. They go to a Chinese restaurant and while the waiters are singing Christmas carols, food is brought to their table. The camera zooms in and they're smiling, laughing, and enjoying themselves. The voice over describes the memory and you can see that this is the Christmas memory that they'll remember, not the missed ham. I think of our tree topper the same way. Every year, when I unwrap it, I'll remember the successful adornment and think about how T1 grew up a little that year.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. May the memories you make this year be joyous ones, and if they're not, I hope there's at least some humor.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Come Fly With Me
I've written here many times about how much I love traveling alone on a business trip and how wonderful and quiet it is in a hotel room. It's nice to read and rest and have that time to myself, but what I absolutely loathe about traveling alone is the flying.
There's an irrational fear that takes over me just before the plane takes off. My heart starts to race and I shut my eyes tightly, like a frustrated baby in that moment before a desperate shriek. But I can't scream. I have no outlet for the anxiety that grips me in that moment. Then with an unnatural, awkward lift, the plane is in the air, we're on our way, and I'm fine.
I'm not sure exactly why I have this crazy fear of take-off, but I do have a general idea. It's probably a mix of statistics and knowledge of what's at stake. Most plane travel is extremely safe. It's probably safer than driving, but if a plane is going to crash, it's usually soon after take-off. And what's at stake in that event, when I'm traveling alone, is the thought, just the thought, of my family without me. That's what's at stake in my mind on the plane.
So that's why I have a little ritual that I do that makes me feel better, however hokey it is. In that tight-eyed moment as the engines are roaring, I visualize every member of my family. I'm embracing DG. I'm swinging T1 around me. I'm watching T2 dance as I smile. I picture my parents and my brother, my sister, nieces and nephews. It's calming. The tightness lessens; My hands don't grip quite as hard. I'm okay and then it's over.
I am grateful to have this little thing that I do. I can fly and know that I'll be home to love up my little family soon enough.
There's an irrational fear that takes over me just before the plane takes off. My heart starts to race and I shut my eyes tightly, like a frustrated baby in that moment before a desperate shriek. But I can't scream. I have no outlet for the anxiety that grips me in that moment. Then with an unnatural, awkward lift, the plane is in the air, we're on our way, and I'm fine.
I'm not sure exactly why I have this crazy fear of take-off, but I do have a general idea. It's probably a mix of statistics and knowledge of what's at stake. Most plane travel is extremely safe. It's probably safer than driving, but if a plane is going to crash, it's usually soon after take-off. And what's at stake in that event, when I'm traveling alone, is the thought, just the thought, of my family without me. That's what's at stake in my mind on the plane.
So that's why I have a little ritual that I do that makes me feel better, however hokey it is. In that tight-eyed moment as the engines are roaring, I visualize every member of my family. I'm embracing DG. I'm swinging T1 around me. I'm watching T2 dance as I smile. I picture my parents and my brother, my sister, nieces and nephews. It's calming. The tightness lessens; My hands don't grip quite as hard. I'm okay and then it's over.
I am grateful to have this little thing that I do. I can fly and know that I'll be home to love up my little family soon enough.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I did it
Well, I did it. I finished National Blog Posting Month with this, my 30th post in 30 days. I am humbled by the perseverance required to write and publish everyday, and I learned a few things:
1. I can find some topics to write about that might be of interest to myself and maybe a couple of others.
2. The practice of writing everyday is very good for my writing skills. It's a lesson in craftsmanship. One has to think about structure, vocabulary, purpose and breadth.
3. While the practice of writing everyday is good for writing, publishing everyday is not. There were very many days this month when it pained me to push that publish button. I know that if I had more time, if I thought a little bit more, my posts would be more interesting. I mean, who really wants to hear every, little mundane detail of someone else's life? For me, it's better to write when I have something to say.
4. I can show my children through my example that when you commit to something, you must fulfill this commitment. A couple of times when I wanted to quit, I knew that I'd be sending the wrong message.
So now that it's over, what am I going to do with all that free time? Maybe I'll pay a little more attention to my kids. Maybe I'll be able to read more books. Maybe I'll have that time to organize my office.Maybe I'll think of more blog topics. I don't think I'll publish everyday anymore, but I do know that I'll keep writing. It's what I do.
Thanks for coming along with me this month. It's been quite a ride. Now, I'm going to hibernate......
1. I can find some topics to write about that might be of interest to myself and maybe a couple of others.
2. The practice of writing everyday is very good for my writing skills. It's a lesson in craftsmanship. One has to think about structure, vocabulary, purpose and breadth.
3. While the practice of writing everyday is good for writing, publishing everyday is not. There were very many days this month when it pained me to push that publish button. I know that if I had more time, if I thought a little bit more, my posts would be more interesting. I mean, who really wants to hear every, little mundane detail of someone else's life? For me, it's better to write when I have something to say.
4. I can show my children through my example that when you commit to something, you must fulfill this commitment. A couple of times when I wanted to quit, I knew that I'd be sending the wrong message.
So now that it's over, what am I going to do with all that free time? Maybe I'll pay a little more attention to my kids. Maybe I'll be able to read more books. Maybe I'll have that time to organize my office.Maybe I'll think of more blog topics. I don't think I'll publish everyday anymore, but I do know that I'll keep writing. It's what I do.
Thanks for coming along with me this month. It's been quite a ride. Now, I'm going to hibernate......
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