I did it

Well, I did it.  I finished National Blog Posting Month with this, my 30th post in 30 days.  I am humbled by the perseverance required to write and publish everyday, and I learned a few things:

1.  I can find some topics to write about that might be of interest to myself and maybe a couple of others.

2.  The practice of writing everyday is very good for my writing skills.  It's a lesson in craftsmanship.  One has to think about structure, vocabulary, purpose and breadth.

3.  While the practice of writing everyday is good for writing, publishing everyday is not.  There were very many days this month when it pained me to push that publish button.  I know that if I had more time, if I thought a little bit more, my posts would be more interesting.  I mean, who really wants to hear every, little mundane detail of someone else's life? For me, it's better to write when I have something to say.

4.  I can show my children through my example that when you commit to something, you must fulfill this commitment.  A couple of times when I wanted to quit, I knew that I'd be sending the wrong message.

So now that it's over, what am I going to do with all that free time?  Maybe I'll pay a little more attention to my kids.  Maybe I'll be able to read more books.  Maybe I'll have that time to organize my office.Maybe I'll think of more blog topics.  I don't think I'll publish everyday anymore, but I do know that I'll keep writing.  It's what I do.

Thanks for coming along with me this month.  It's been quite a ride.  Now, I'm going to hibernate......

The Key to Good Study Skills for Kids? Less Homework

There is a tremendous amount of controversy surrounding public education and who's responsible for today's failings kids.  Is it teachers? (the documentary Waiting for Superman faults teacher's unions).  Is it lack of funds? (in California, K-12 education has been cut beyond needing a tourniquet and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight).  Is it parents? (working parents are too busy to get involved in their children's education).  Then there is the other side of the controversy.  Kids who are over-scheduled and stressed out are facing tremendous consequences of burn out as they strive to be the best, have the highest SAT scores, take the most AP courses, and get into the top colleges.  The documentary Race To Nowhere addresses this citing homework policies that have kids working for 6 hours a day or more as contributing to the problem. The film also says that teaching to the test, and teaching kids how to take a test, is not giving them the critical thinking skills that they will need to succeed in college or life.

As a college teacher, I see this manifested in two ways.  Many of my students are unfocused, unprepared, and unmotivated.  Definitely a product of a failing education system.  On the other hand, I see students who are trying to balance more than one job and a family while trying to gain an education to advance beyond their current life and the lives their parents had.  They are tired and careless.  They can't focus.


I think about this a lot with regard to my own kids who, in second grade, while still relatively new to the public education system, are already showing a tendency toward patterns that could stick with them for the life of their education.


T1 wants to get his homework over with.  Just today, he asked me, "Why do we have to do the same thing week after week?" They do about 2 worksheets a day as well as writing spelling words 5 times each twice a week.  "It's boring," he says.  I understand the idea of repetition as a way to reinforce concepts and to practice skills, but this is the same work he's doing in class.  It's mega-repetition to the point of boredom.


T2 has the opposite opinion about the homework.  She almost always turns it into a game for herself.  Today, she pretended to be a teacher and gave a lesson on the homework to her doll.  She enjoys doing it and creates similar work for herself when she doesn't have homework.  I believe she has the intrinsic motivation that makes a life long learner. 


Homework is part of education.  Lifelong learners are constantly seeking answers to questions long after their formal education is done.  They practice homework simply because they are never done learning.  Homework and studying are how lifelong learners get to be lifelong learners.

Then again, there is research from Duke University by Harris Cooper that shows that there is no skills reinforcement with homework in elementary school.  Children basically know what they need to know from the work they're doing in class.  So why do they do homework?  They have to, right?  How else will they have the skills to study in middle school or high school?  They've got to do something, right?

Our district last year developed a homework policy that is in line with the current research on the subject.  The rule of 10 minutes per day per grade level is currently what my children are expected to do.  We're doing that, but like I said above, it seems like even this 20 minutes needs an overhaul to make it relevant to the child's life and stimulating to their critical thinking sensibility.

I think the answer is elusive.  I try to create more interesting tasks within the required homework, but that's often met with, "Mooommm, we don't have to do that!"  Is the 20 minutes a day workable for my kids?  Absolutely.  Even though I don't know exactly what the magic panacea is to the dull homework, I do know what motivates my kids and I am more than willing to modify the homework to give the kids the unstructured play that will definitely fill their brains.

What's your homework policy?  How do you inspire a love of learning in your children?

We got a new girl in the family today

Today, T2 got to spend the gift certificate she got for her birthday (thanks super generous JL and M).  She took a class this past summer reading books from the American Girl series.  She fell in love with those stories of those plucky historically-themed heroines.  She started asking for an American Girl doll soon after this.  DG and I knew that this desire was probably tied to the reading (which is her real first love) and that playing with dolls is something she just doesn't really do.  Barbies sit untouched in a drawer and last year's Christmas staple Liv dolls enjoyed a short-lived affinity in her life.  We said, "no American Girl doll."  She just doesn't play with dolls enough.

This has always bothered me a little.  I LOVE dolls.  As a kid, I played with every kind of doll I could get my hands on.  I had a 18" doll, American Girl doll size, that I named Karen.  My grandmother made all kinds of clothes for her.  My sister and I played Barbies non stop with our neighborhood friends all summer.  We even had Chrissy and Velvet dolls in the 70's.  These were dolls whose hair could go longer or shorter with a turn of a knob on their backs. 

Don't they have super groovy 70's outfits?

This doll is still in its case in my garage today.  But T2 did not get the doll-playing bug the way I did.

Until now.  Something shifted this year.  She started playing with the Bitty Baby that was given to her by the very same JL mentioned above pretty much every day.  She started asking to take the doll everywhere we went.  She changed the doll into pajamas and read to her at night before bed.  My heart was singing. 

Last week, when she received the gift card for the American Girl store from JL, I teared up a little.  I almost think I wanted the doll more than she did.  And today, when we were at the fabulous American Girl store in Los Angeles, we shared a love of these beautifully crafted dolls that made us both giddy.  She chose the Rebecca Rubin doll--a Jewish girl living in New York in 1914.  She took the doll out of the box and immediately started creating an imaginary world in which Rebecca plays the main role.  T2's stories rivaled the ones in the books.  I can't wait to see how T2 and Rebecca's adventures play out.

We won't be able to visit the American Girl store very often.  I'd go broke!  But for today, it was magical to share this with my daughter. 

Keeping Black Friday Black

I think Black Friday gets a bad rap. I read an article today that focused on how people will mow over anyone to get the deal. I don't see it that way.

Even talking to my friends and family members, I get the rolled eyes and the, "Oh God! I would never do that. I mean, it's so indulgent." And, "We just don't do that many gifts."

I think the media paints the whole experience in a negative light focusing on the most outrageous of shoppers rather than those who see gift giving as an act of love and who see shopping on Black Friday as a way to cash in on savings that are, in some cases, better than any other time of the year.

My brother-in-law, in the market for a new washer and dryer, saved 50%. The store sold out of this deal in 2 hours. There's a sense of accomplishment in saving money. It feels good.

My experience was the opposite of the frenetic, intense knock down drag out fight for getting mine. I see Black Friday as a shared exercise in zen. You have to wait. You have to take time to park. You need to look out for your fellow shoppers and the store clerks who are doing their best in the face of the chaos. I take a deep breath. I think. I listen.

I'm staying positive this holiday season and while I'm not spending extravagantly, I am doing what I can for the economy staying calm all the while.

What's your thought on it?

What to do with that leftover turkey? Turkey Cookies

Mmmmmm, turkey.  Boy, that leftover turkey has always been a staple of the sandwich, maybe a turkey hash and the occasional shepherd's pie, but leave it to DG to get extra creative with the turkey. 

Turkey Cookies.

I gotta admit, when DG said he was going to make cookies from the leftover turkey, we all mocked him.  "Yeah, right. That sounds gross.  C'mon, Dad, don't do that."  I was envisioning sugar mingling with the turkey meat, and my stomach turned.  But that's not what he had in mind.  Here's DG to tell you all about it.



Those fried turkey "donuts," I gotta admit, were really good.  He processed turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and Brussels Sprouts and made a patty that he fried in olive oil.  I know.  You're welcome.

What are you doing with your leftovers?

Thanks

I am grateful.  I am so grateful for the wonderful life that I get to have. 

A job I love.

A beautiful home.

Super sweet pets to cuddle.

And a family I love more than I can say.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Grateful Twin Mom

"The supermarket is NOT a playground!" and other brilliantly obvious quotes

Once upon a time, a nice mommy had to get some groceries for a Thanksgiving dinner for 10.  She set out, armed with her list, a large, empty cart, and two hangers on lovely children.  She knew that there was a bit of a risk attempting this arduous task with two children; after all, they had already spent 3 1/2 hours at work with mommy, playing video games, reading, and being basically sedentary.  She was determined, though.  "This could be fun," she thought.  They might enjoy being a part of this uniquely American holiday of togetherness.  Families come together at Thanksgiving, and what better way to celebrate that than to share in every aspect of bringing the holiday to fruition?  So what, they're only 8.  They can handle it.

So they begin in the produce section.  Quickly, the togetherness begins to deteriorate into determined shopper versus wild, giddy banshees in a battle of who can wreak the most havoc near hot house tomatoes.  (The banshees win.)  Large Granny Smith apples become cheek decorations, held closely to faces with a squeal of glee that is outrageously funny to children.  Not so much for the mommy.  "Stop that.  That noise is too loud!  Are we outside right now?"  The apples drop into the bag, destined for home and later to be chopped into a pie.  Wait, drop is not quite the right word--more like chucked into the bag.  "Stop that," the mommy hisses.  "They'll get bruised.  Can you go get me some bananas now?"  Off the mischief makers go to terrorize the bananas.

The still determined mommy finally steers the children out of the produce section only to be waylaid by the fresh, whole Dungeness crab on ice in the seafood section.  The children see immediate opportunities for puppetry.  The mommy sees salmonella.  "Don't touch that.  It's got bacteria!" 

Onward to the meat counter to get the pre-ordered turkey.  The mommy gives the order to the butcher.  The children see this break in the action as a signal to create some more mayhem.  All of a sudden, the aisle beside the ground beef and pork chops becomes a ring for a World Wrestling Federation championship.  One child has the other in a headlock.  Both topple to the ground again in loud peals of laughter that would have the world around them think this smackdown was the most fun they'd had in days.  "What are you doing?" the mortified mommy questions.  As if an answer to this question is what she really wants or even remotely believes she's going to get.  Shoppers go by and give the mommy looks of questionable emotions.  Sympathy in one face that says, "Oh yes, I feel you, sister.  That's why I'm here by myself."  Disgust in another, "Can't you keep those monkeys under control? What are you thinking allowing them to play in a supermarket the day before Thanksgiving?" 

"The supermarket is NOT a playground!" the mommy points out.  The children stare blankly back at her, pause for a second, and then burst into guffaws before trying to take each other down, karate-chop-style again.  Knowing that she's got to do something to intervene, the mommy quickly makes a small list for each of the children.  Go get this... the list says.  Well now she's done it.  The children bolt off in different directions in search of the "scavenger hunt" items.  Their frenzy in trying to get the yogurt/orange juice/aluminum foil/cider vinegar indicates to the mommy that this is not a helpful gesture.  It's become a race, and as with any race, there will be a loser.  And a sore loser is fodder for more dirty looks from passing shoppers trying desperately to get their own cranberry sauce, and it has tremendous potential for being the straw that breaks the camel's back in the fragile balance between being silly and snapping into a tantrum.  The children return with the items.  They ask for more tasks.  They want to work together this time.  The mommy is pleased.  She watches them as they go back again and again trying to find the exact right type of sea salt.

Finally, our little troupe of shoppers arrives at the check out counter.  Various tempting candies call like sirens to the children.  They are drawn to them, "Can we have one pleeeeeaaaassseeee?"  "No," says the mommy, matter-of-factly, hoping that a non-response will help the desire blow over.  The children become helpful, taking items out of the cart and onto the check stand conveyor belt.  "Wait....no....not the glass...." cautions the mommy with a hovering hand as the 3 lb. bottle of apple juice finally makes it to the hands of the checker. "Wow, Mom, we're going to go over $300!  This is a record!" one child bellows as he watches the tick, tick, tick of the register tape.  The mommy slowly swipes the credit card, trying to resist the urge to hush the child.  "We don't talk about money in public places, honey," she mutters under her breath.

"Would you like some help out?" asks the bagger.  "Oh if only you could," thinks the mommy.  "No," she says, "I think we've got it." she says.  And the children hop on to the sides of the already loaded down cart.  They make their way to the parking lot and the mommy spies another mom with kids entering the store.  "Now stay right next to me and don't get into trouble," the mommy hears the new mom say.  She passes the sympathetic look and smiles.